Introducing Bollywood

Jobs: 0 (but am feeling optimistic come the new year)
# of times I watched Love Actually before Christmas: 1 (usually its about 5)
# of times one of us has been locked out of apartment in last 3 days: 4

Merry Christmas to everyone!! I hope you all had a really great day. Kerry and I woke up and ate French Toast Casserole (a Romero tradition) and then later on invited our other orphan friend, Ollie, over for spaghetti and meatballs and then to see Avatar. Avatar was AWESOME. We unfortunately were stuck in the front row and I won't even tell you how much a movie ticket costs here ($22!!) but it was worth it, the movie was phenomenal! Our other Christmas present to ourselves was a used washing machine that was delivered the day before. Unfortunately the day that we got it, our dryer broke.

So, as usual, Kerr and I have found ourselves in yet another awkward situation. Our third roommate is away for 3 weeks, traveling Europe, and a couple days before she left, she told us that she was renting out her room to a guy that she knows. She didn't know too much about him other than he was Pakistani. My immediate thought was that I would just pretend I was Canadian for the next 3 weeks, for obvious reasons.

So as we are about to dig into our spaghetti and meatballs for Christmas dinner, a 6 foot 9 dude emerges from our roomie's room (that is not an exaggeration, he is literally that tall). So this guy dishes himself a heaping portion of our Christmas dinner and sits down with us. Now I can't even begin to explain what a turkey this guy is but here's a few of his finer comments:

• “I grew up in Vegas so I really know how to party. I actually feel bad when I go out with people because they can’t party like me…..”

• “…..yea and I sing too. I sometimes perform and I can even rap in my native language – Pakistani. I even rap in Pakistani.” (this was my favorite)

• “I’ve got houses in Dubai, Switzerland, London, and Pakistan. I invest in properties.”

• “….yep, here for Cricket. I play professionally. I’m actually the only pure all-arounder in Australia….PURE!” (an all-arounder is someone who pitches and catches in cricket...or whatever the actual cricket terms are)

• “Its 4:20? Oh my gosh, I need a cigarette. Otherwise I’m going to start feeling bad because I really want to smoke a joint.”

• “…yea I went to a strip club last night. We all will need to party!”

• “Yea I might get a dog. I actually should have a kid by now but my relationship didn’t last. I was supposed to marry this girl so I might get a dog.”

Well it was basically this guy rambling on for an hour while we were shoveling food into our mouths so we could get out of there. Needless to say, Kerry and I bitched the entire train ride to the movies about our upcoming three weeks with this guy. Ollie was both amused and appalled at the same time, and somewhere along the line nicknamed this guy Bollywood (we don't know his real name). The only positive I can make from this situation is that I don't have to pretend I'm Canadian for the next 3 weeks, as this guy grew up in Vegas (and I wouldn't be surprised if he was unaware of the current relationship status between America and Pakistan).